Home

Every summer we come home to Montana, where soda is pop, the sun is up til' 10pm, and the kids run barefoot in the grass, climb trees and make new friends.

Montana living is different and making a home and life in California makes it even more easy to see. Things seem more simple. Fewer people, distractions, or places you think you need be or things you think you should be doing.....or maybe that is just vacation.

Hylite outside of Bozeman. Photo Credit: Aunt Kathy

Sometimes

Even if it was almost a year ago, this picture is proof that Momma and Dad do clean up on occassion.

Posted via Blogaway

Sugar bugs

This brave boy had to have two fillings today. There were definitely tears but he handled it like a  champ and nursed a smoothie for lunch while snuggling in his comfort position on Momma's lap.

Posted via Blogaway

Eric's seventh birthday

September 2013

 Eric asked me, "Is your birthday  always on the day you were born?" Yes Eric, your birthday http://bit.ly/157iAdo is always the day you were born and oh is it a special day for everyone.

Right now, turning seven years old, your birthday is about presents, cake, and fun times with family and friends, and oh yeah, more presents!

For your parents, grandparents, and close grown-up friends your birthday is MOST importantly about celebrating all the little and big steps to this day, your 7th birthday! It is day of reflection on your precious face and all those beautiful features that have grown from preemie, to baby, to boy. It is noting that you have grown from 14 inches long to 47 inches tall and that tomorrow you will be a fraction taller still. It is remembering every bottle, feeding, and meal between 1 pound 15 oz and 48 pounds. Its looking in those eyes and knowing those eyes are the very same eyes that opened to me for the first time seven years ago and the see the world so beautifully and have changed the way I see it.

September 2006

Same smile pre-teeth 2007

You are so excited to turn 7! Tonight you were talking about where the seven candles will be placed around your baseball diamond cake (one candle at first, one at second, and third, right field, left field, etc) . When I asked you what your favorite thing about being six was, you didn't say starting kindergarten, playing farm league baseball, getting a big bike,  changing from a car seat to a booster seat, or learning to read and write. You said "losing your teeth" top front and bottom front to be specific. You have lost 5 teeth to date and the 6th is hanging out. Losing your teeth for the first time is pretty cool, especially when it pays big dividends. By-the-way, I owe you money I borrowed to pay the babysitter. Don't worry, I'm good for it.

Curly hair 2008

Watching you grow and become even more of that special YOU that only you can be is blessed gift. You are so kind and considerate (yeah, you grab things out of other kids' hands' but were working it on and that excitement "just gets ya sometimes). You notice everything. Today you looked at my feet and said, " You got new shoes." Your sense of humor just gets better and better and hearing your deep-belly chuckle (the same one a heard for the first time 6 and a half years ago after giving you bath and drying you off)  to slap-stick comedy or the ridiculous idea of a driving cat ( yeah, Toonces is funny!) puts a smile on my face like nothing else.

Your birthday is a day for you and its significance is marked as it should be with birthday booty, bounce houses or, by playing pinball all day with your closest friends! For Momma and Dadda it's celebrating you growing and being blessed a million times over to be a part of it. Happy Birthday Eric. We love you.

Throwing rocks in the crick 2013

Smeers camping 2013

Quotes from Montana visits

Eric  "I have only seen pigeons, not ever a bald eagle."

Noah "this isnt soda. It's called pop"

Noah at Shakespeare in the Park "they talk funny"

Posted via Blogaway

Ridge run fun approaches

I wrote this before the Ridge Run and didn't post it. I will recap the adventure but here's the before story!

In the tapering period of my training I told Noah I was heading out for a short run. He says, "No you're not. You will run far." He just couldn't believe that after all the long runs it was even possible to go for a short run. The miles are logged. The shoes a tried, tested, and trained in along with every other bit of even potential gear. I've read every blog at http://bridgerridgerun.wordpress.com/. I have studied the elevation and determined where I will walk to climb up rather than run, and where I can let'er cruise. I have written down the rogue directions given at http://winddrinkers.org/ridge-run/. I know what I will eat and drink, how I will arrive at the start by 6am, and exactly what socks I will wear. I have interviewed Ridge Run finishers with an obsessive amount of questions. Branch Brady has run this race twice already and happens to be my cross-town high school cross country coach from back in that day. After talking with him I know am as prepared as I can be (patting myself on the back right now). I also talked with LUNA sponsored athlete and friend http://teamlunachix.com/sponsored/athletes?athlete=797 who ran this rugged race with her untrained (what!) husband in 2012 after competing in the ITU Long Course Triathlon Championships in Vitoria, Spain (what!)the weekend prior to the Ridge Run! She filled me with confidence and assured me that "if I enjoy this kind of stuff"  I will have a blast! She also gave the advice of stopping, taking pictures, and looking behind me to see what I just ran.

After talking with these experts I determined that my estimated finish time might just be 5 hours and 30 minutes. This is with quite a few assumptions! First assumption is that we make it to the starting line without bottoming out the car on Fairy Lake Road. I ran 20 miles in 3hours 18 minutes so estimating this will take me nearly 2 hours longer than that rolling hill trail tells you a lot! My estimated time assumes I don't have to work more mountains than I thought, that I can handle the terrain, that I don't hang out for 20 minutes at a check point talking and enjoying the view, that I don't have to bandage a blister, bruise, or scrape, and that I don't have to take care of ...well, "girl stuff" that so conveniently coincides with the same point in the month as the run. Irritating, yes, but at least I am not pregnant!

I have been practicing my downhill running skills and tried different shoes with different approaches to tackling the technical stuff. Approach #1) nimble, small, flexible, support shoes, and #2) fat, thick, roller, support shoes. I am going with the fat. They oddly seem to help me run down hill better even though the take up more space. Running downhill on a trail is quite different from the road so I have learned. It's comparable to downhill mountain biking and downhill mogul skiing. You pick your line, you follow it, you bend your knees down low, and hold your arms out like you are holding ski polls. I have discovered this keeps you in the best control and you kind of "dance" tip-toe even down the hill. Notice I said hill! These are mountains and I am a nervous nelly coming down hills. So that is another assumption, that I am confident enough in my skills to not put on the breaks the entire 9500 feet net descent down the mountain.

And then there is the elevation. It must be respected and if it tells me to slow waaay down well, I slow way down. What more can I do? Nothing more than I have. I live at sea level and have had the added bonus of tapering for the past 10 days at 3500 feet so maybe I gained a few extra elevation points for that.

This is an adventure for me but keep in mind there are people who do this year after year. There is even someone running this rugged mountain race barefoot for, from what I can tell, the third time! I am looking forward to the adventure and the camaraderie with fellow Ridge Run enthusiasts and Montana natives. While my bib number says Alameda, California. I run this race to celebrate being  Montanan (almost born, and definitely raised). The sky will be as big as this race in the town of my alma mater. I am also so excited to run the same course as Branch Brady. My admiration for him as a runner and a coach make me feel honored to "hang" with him. His words of support and encouragement during my days of competition  still ring load and clear 23 years later!

In the words of Eric and Noah, Wee Haa!!

Time to start family vacation

Eric is literally watching the clock and letting me know the time every minute we get closer to boarding time.

Posted via Blogaway

Writing

Noah has the O and H down and is recognizing the letters of his name in other places. He is also asking how to spell certain words. Yesterday he wanted me to spell "glitter "

Posted via Blogaway

Slow and steady

People always look at my little boys and reflect on how big  they have gotten and exclaim the time goes "so quick " . Then they  will follow that up with a comment something like "someday you too will look back and wonder where the time went." I am so depressed by the thought that I have to think there is a better way that doesn't let time just slip away unnoticed.

I was told I would harldy remember our wedding day or my children's birth but it is not true. These moments are imbedded so deep in my remembery that I not only remember the details of the events but I also remember thoughts and feelings. In all their experience and wisdom there IS something they have missed. Our life is a journey and in that journey is story after story. My Grandmother new it and she remembered her stories in such fine detail should could have written a memoir from the homesteader's account.

Time is slow and steady. It is however, always moving forward. It is too easy to let it slip away unnoticed and I am thankful that many perfect strangers have alerted me to that ease.  It is this knowing that helps me stop, pause, and take notice of the many small minutes that give me the totality of time where I am now, a mother to a six year old and three year old who are as young as they will every be right now. In our now increasingly busied-on-the-go-society it becomes more challenging to pause. I must defend against invaders so I am not overtaken by "shoulds" and before I know it saying "oh it goes by so fast". My defense is to block out "noise" and prioritize the musts and limit the shoulds.

I didn't grow from my Grandpa's little Tara to grown-up-mom- career- wife-Tara overnight. Nor have my boys been birthed, nurtured from babies to school-aged children overnight. If we fill our lives with so much busy and too much on-the-go we don't have time to pause and take the journey until ....puff everyone is grown up. I remind myslef to pause, soak it all in and note each small victory, milestone, or conversation. What did I do today? I slowed down the morning rush so we could all watch the garbage truck. We all met the garbage man, Mario, and learned that he worked for Clif Bar some 18 years ago and knows many of the old-timers there. I encourage everyone to slow down just for a second and meet their garbage man!

With that, we are going camping this weekend to isolate from musts and shoulds and just be.

Mommas ridge training update

At the 3 hour mark with 4 miles left back to my car. Then picking up recovery au lait on the way home! Redwood Regional Park is a trail oasis!

Gearing up

Running the Ridge

It's official. I am signed up for the Ed Anacker Ridge Run in Bozeman this summer, August tenth. They have a selection process and after they have hand selected folks based on a 50 word compelling reason, the others are by lottery.

Here were my 50 words:
I run for many reasons. The main reason I run? Because I can. This race is pinnacle. A MT raised MSU grad, this challenge is a stunning celebration of MT running & turning 40. PS: I work in nutrition @ CLIF BAR & have FREE bars,gels, bloks for ALL!

I am fairly certain it was my free product offer that won me one of the 250 spots in the race. At this point my long-term relationship with running I have run four marathons, two under four hours, and more half marathons than I can count. Running and I have broken up for various reasons over the years but always seem to get back together. We have had a love-hate relationship from time to time.

When I was pregnant with the boys I didn't run. My body had far more important things to expend resources on then. I remember my first run after Eric was born. It was February and I ran five full blocks before I had to stop, turn around, and walk back. I set my sights on running the Nike Women's Half Marathon and moved myself forward toward the goal.

After Noah was born and the sixth week of post-partum cleared the calendar I bought my first Nike pace band. I wanted to run Nike again, but this time I wanted to run it faster.

I have never been so grateful to having running in my life since the boys were born. I run for them. I run for me. I run for all those times I couldn't run and for all those who can't run because of struggles in their lives. Running is something you do when things are good and I am thankful to have it. No run I ever do will be more challenging than pregnancy, a preemie, and parenting two active, beautiful, competitive, athletic, and smart boys.

Twenty-miles in the Bridger Mountains supported with aid stations is an attainable adventure for me. It  gives  something to work towards that is all my own, all about me, and my needs. Moms need to have something that is their own, and I love the feeling of having the support of Eric, Noah, and Aaron. Seeing them during a run and knowing Aaron is having his own marathon of getting them all there means the world to me.

The rest of the family thinks I am crazy. A sure sign that it is just the right adventure for me.

A marathon was crazy, back to back marathons were crazy, running at 2am on the side of a road in Oregon after only 3 hours of sleep in 24 hours was crazy. There are loads of athletes who do far crazier adventures in pursuit of personal satisfaction from feats far greater than a mere 20 miles over 6500 feet of climbing and 9000 feet descending in the Rockies.

Call me crazy and I will say to you, I'd be crazy not to.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and becoming a mother have reinvogerated a more balanced love of running. We are all built for it. Train, get good coaching, good equipment, and good support and you can do it.

Let the training begin.

Blue jays

Heart, speed, natural ability, huge smile, and love for baseball. That is what coach Steve had to say about Eric and  his first season in Alameda Farm baseball..

We're going to get there

"Everyone relax. We're going to get there. Take a deep breath. Now do you feel better Momma?" This was how Eric responded this morning on the way to school when I was stressing out about the stand-still traffic across the island.

You see, as we later found out, the tunnel - which is known to Alamedians as the tube and still after nearly 5 years of living here refer to it as the tunnel - was closed. This happens a few times a year during morning commute and causes everyone to transverse the island to one of the two bridges on the East side.

At first I thought, oh no I am showing my son poor behavior, but then I thought again. He was repeating back to me what I have taught him about handling frustration or overwhelming situations.

We take deep breaths together and practice stillness when we need to calm and take things down a notch. Apparently he recognized Momma need to take a breath and calm her body, AND he new just what to say. Pat, pat my self on the back.

Money

"Mom, I don't need to use my money for an electric train. I am just going to ask Santa then it will be free!"

Bob's

Noah's first trip to the counter of Bob's Donuts. The best donuts in San Francisco and the world.

Silverfish

Eric is making progress towards learning to swim. Today he graduated from Seahorse to Silverfish. Earned a ribbon and everything.

Silverfish

Eric is making progress towards learning to swim. Today he graduated from Seahorse to Silverfish. Earned a ribbon and everything.

Amazed

We have had a stop-start time with Noah and the potty. His recent move from junior preschool in room Mt Rainier to preschool in Mt Whitney has helped to inspire him a bit.

With organic jelly beans as incentive, he eagerly stood at the potty and peed. Eric walked in on the event and exclaimed, " I don't believe my eyes!"

Winding down to wind up

Spring break has come to a close and tomorrow marks the day that we go back to the "routine". We had a week of no routines and it was just the liberation sanity ordered. Everyone has been delightfully happy (so long as Noah is fed every 90 minutes) and my sweet boys could not be sweeter.

I almost feel renewed. Now if I would have just gone to bed earlier I might just feel fully renewed.

Tomorrow it is back to school, back to base camp, back to work, and back to feeding, dressing, and herding these two boys out the door in the morning. The trick is going to be in maintaining schedules and logistics without getting sucked into a routine that stifles our attention to what is really important, each other.

The thing a liked most about my spring break was spending focused and free time with the ones I love.