Slow and steady

People always look at my little boys and reflect on how big  they have gotten and exclaim the time goes "so quick " . Then they  will follow that up with a comment something like "someday you too will look back and wonder where the time went." I am so depressed by the thought that I have to think there is a better way that doesn't let time just slip away unnoticed.

I was told I would harldy remember our wedding day or my children's birth but it is not true. These moments are imbedded so deep in my remembery that I not only remember the details of the events but I also remember thoughts and feelings. In all their experience and wisdom there IS something they have missed. Our life is a journey and in that journey is story after story. My Grandmother new it and she remembered her stories in such fine detail should could have written a memoir from the homesteader's account.

Time is slow and steady. It is however, always moving forward. It is too easy to let it slip away unnoticed and I am thankful that many perfect strangers have alerted me to that ease.  It is this knowing that helps me stop, pause, and take notice of the many small minutes that give me the totality of time where I am now, a mother to a six year old and three year old who are as young as they will every be right now. In our now increasingly busied-on-the-go-society it becomes more challenging to pause. I must defend against invaders so I am not overtaken by "shoulds" and before I know it saying "oh it goes by so fast". My defense is to block out "noise" and prioritize the musts and limit the shoulds.

I didn't grow from my Grandpa's little Tara to grown-up-mom- career- wife-Tara overnight. Nor have my boys been birthed, nurtured from babies to school-aged children overnight. If we fill our lives with so much busy and too much on-the-go we don't have time to pause and take the journey until ....puff everyone is grown up. I remind myslef to pause, soak it all in and note each small victory, milestone, or conversation. What did I do today? I slowed down the morning rush so we could all watch the garbage truck. We all met the garbage man, Mario, and learned that he worked for Clif Bar some 18 years ago and knows many of the old-timers there. I encourage everyone to slow down just for a second and meet their garbage man!

With that, we are going camping this weekend to isolate from musts and shoulds and just be.

Mommas ridge training update

At the 3 hour mark with 4 miles left back to my car. Then picking up recovery au lait on the way home! Redwood Regional Park is a trail oasis!

Gearing up

Running the Ridge

It's official. I am signed up for the Ed Anacker Ridge Run in Bozeman this summer, August tenth. They have a selection process and after they have hand selected folks based on a 50 word compelling reason, the others are by lottery.

Here were my 50 words:
I run for many reasons. The main reason I run? Because I can. This race is pinnacle. A MT raised MSU grad, this challenge is a stunning celebration of MT running & turning 40. PS: I work in nutrition @ CLIF BAR & have FREE bars,gels, bloks for ALL!

I am fairly certain it was my free product offer that won me one of the 250 spots in the race. At this point my long-term relationship with running I have run four marathons, two under four hours, and more half marathons than I can count. Running and I have broken up for various reasons over the years but always seem to get back together. We have had a love-hate relationship from time to time.

When I was pregnant with the boys I didn't run. My body had far more important things to expend resources on then. I remember my first run after Eric was born. It was February and I ran five full blocks before I had to stop, turn around, and walk back. I set my sights on running the Nike Women's Half Marathon and moved myself forward toward the goal.

After Noah was born and the sixth week of post-partum cleared the calendar I bought my first Nike pace band. I wanted to run Nike again, but this time I wanted to run it faster.

I have never been so grateful to having running in my life since the boys were born. I run for them. I run for me. I run for all those times I couldn't run and for all those who can't run because of struggles in their lives. Running is something you do when things are good and I am thankful to have it. No run I ever do will be more challenging than pregnancy, a preemie, and parenting two active, beautiful, competitive, athletic, and smart boys.

Twenty-miles in the Bridger Mountains supported with aid stations is an attainable adventure for me. It  gives  something to work towards that is all my own, all about me, and my needs. Moms need to have something that is their own, and I love the feeling of having the support of Eric, Noah, and Aaron. Seeing them during a run and knowing Aaron is having his own marathon of getting them all there means the world to me.

The rest of the family thinks I am crazy. A sure sign that it is just the right adventure for me.

A marathon was crazy, back to back marathons were crazy, running at 2am on the side of a road in Oregon after only 3 hours of sleep in 24 hours was crazy. There are loads of athletes who do far crazier adventures in pursuit of personal satisfaction from feats far greater than a mere 20 miles over 6500 feet of climbing and 9000 feet descending in the Rockies.

Call me crazy and I will say to you, I'd be crazy not to.

Pregnancy, childbirth, and becoming a mother have reinvogerated a more balanced love of running. We are all built for it. Train, get good coaching, good equipment, and good support and you can do it.

Let the training begin.

Blue jays

Heart, speed, natural ability, huge smile, and love for baseball. That is what coach Steve had to say about Eric and  his first season in Alameda Farm baseball..

We're going to get there

"Everyone relax. We're going to get there. Take a deep breath. Now do you feel better Momma?" This was how Eric responded this morning on the way to school when I was stressing out about the stand-still traffic across the island.

You see, as we later found out, the tunnel - which is known to Alamedians as the tube and still after nearly 5 years of living here refer to it as the tunnel - was closed. This happens a few times a year during morning commute and causes everyone to transverse the island to one of the two bridges on the East side.

At first I thought, oh no I am showing my son poor behavior, but then I thought again. He was repeating back to me what I have taught him about handling frustration or overwhelming situations.

We take deep breaths together and practice stillness when we need to calm and take things down a notch. Apparently he recognized Momma need to take a breath and calm her body, AND he new just what to say. Pat, pat my self on the back.

Money

"Mom, I don't need to use my money for an electric train. I am just going to ask Santa then it will be free!"