Pregnancy is an uncomfortable life altering gift. I didn’t love being pregnant, but I did appreciate it for its wonder. I spent my second pregnancy cherishing the blessing of a second chance, a second chance to embrace ten months of an unfamiliar body, the necessary means of bringing sweet Noah into our family.
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| February 2010 |
My second pregnancy while full term, was hardly uneventful. What it wasn’t was traumatic and there lies the difference. Instead of wishing away ten months of uncomfortable-ness I choose to embrace it as my chance to assist God in a miracle. This meant embracing the first trimester of unknowing. Every woman experiences the period of pregnancy with the same uneasiness about whether this baby will really result in more than just an embryo. You hope, you wish, you dream, and you are scared. Within the first three months of pregnancy we carry on knowing that nature may intervene when something isn't quite right. I am forever grateful for not having to struggle during this time of pregnancy, the getting pregnant and staying pregnant part that so many of my family and friends, including my mother, persevered through.
The eventfulness of my pregnancy with Noah began first with the understanding that at 13 weeks Dr. Katz (the best in the world right in my “backyard”) would be sewing our little Noah inside me to keep him from “slipping” out too soon before our desired delivery. Between 12 and 13 weeks after we knew the pregnancy “took” it was time for the much anticipated cerclage to be welcomed to the party in my cervix. If it makes you uncomfortable to read the word cervix then you better stop here. A cerclage is a fancy word for a purse string stitch the cinches up those of us with “incompetent” cervix. NOTHING about me is incompetent, that I am confident of, EXCEPT my cervix.
I will leave most of the surgical placement of the cerclage to your imagination. If however you know the yoga pose of happy baby you can get a pretty good visual. Picture happy baby pose on a surgical table in a surgery room under bright lights with a curtain across your waist, a nurse holds your hand, and anesthesiologist at your side, the most talented cerclage surgeon in the world and his medical student with a needle and thread in their hand. Enough said.
I addition to the poor performance history of my cervix I also was told by Dr. Katz that it seemed I have and over-active uterus. This may not only explain WHY Eric arrived so early, but it could also explain a lot about Eric’s personality. An overactive uterus me be a source of multiple, consecutive sensations of pleasure BUT they are not great when you don’t want to have contractions. So to curb the enthusiasm of this womb for the time being, I endured twenty weeks straight of progesterone injections administered by nursing-assistant Aaron (my husband). These shots were given alternating left and right butt cheeks every Sunday. Eric found the whole event fascinating and it always lead to a series of questions and answers. Since the shots lovingly irritated my skin for an entire week Aaron endured me constantly, not very seductively, scratching my bum.
Speaking of seduction, there was to be none until after Noah was born (LONG AFTER). Doc Katz said the uterus would certainly contract and so long as it stopped contracting everything was fine. He said, “If it doesn’t stop contracting call me.”
Aaron and took one look at each other, remembered 96 days of NICU and all the worry that followed, and said, “No way. We are not going there!
There were some minor aches and pains; and as I became larger and larger and less and less mobile I learned to set strong boundaries around my time and physical capabilities. I learned how to ask for help and feel good about it. I learned to accept the help of others with more graciousness, and I learned that the need for rest and water should never be ignored. These lessons I have carried with me even now that Noah is two years old.
We had a few scares along the way that turned out to be nothing more than my body adjusting to the cerclage and my pelvis adjusting to the Noah growing inside me with very long feet. Over the holidays we had an emergency visit to check for a blood clot first in my legs and then in my lungs that turned out to be nothing more than a little pregnancy induced asthma. These were events of the very normal kind that happen throughout many normal pregnancies. Noah was a very normal pregnancy. I have also learned that no pregnancy is without event. It is all an event, and it is something I always want to remember. Many women I meet say they don’t remember being pregnant. I know I will remember always. Maybe it has to do with the gifts that come along with being mother to a very early preemie (of which there are many).
I remember very clearly the births of each of my children. I remember the sequences of events, the emotions, and the physical sensations. This leads me to part 2 of the “Noah is Turning 2 Years Old “ blog.
